Cape Cod Weddings
Judith Todd-McNichol
Justice of the Peace

Massachusetts Justice of the Peace, Reverend Judith Todd-McNichol D.D.
137 South Pond Drive, Brewster, MA 02631
Please call Judith Todd-McNichol to set up an appointment at:
508-896-9898 or

Wedding Readings and Ceremonies

           

        

Wedding Readings


Cape Cod Blessing by Melissa McNichol

Indian Wedding Blessing

Poem by Robert Sezton

Saying by Jose Perez

Poem by Kahlil Gibran

On Marriage from "The Prophet" by Kahlil Gibran

Sonnet 18 by Shakespeare

Sonnet 116 by Shakespeare

Sand and Shells Blessing by Judith Todd-McNichol

Love Is by Susan Polis Schutz

Dove Poem


 
A Cape Cod Blessing by Melissa McNichol

A blessing for your Cape Cod Wedding Day
May your days before you be filled with sunlight and laughter
And your nights ahead be filled with an ocean of peace.
As you both grow older together,
Sharing your love and happiness, with ease.
For you shall be your spouse’s heart
And your spouse’s heart shall be yours.
From now till the ocean ceases to ebb n’ flow
And Cape Cod Beaches lose their every grain of sand.”
 
Indian Wedding Blessing

Now you will feel no rain,
For each of you will be shelter to the other.

Now you will feel no cold,
For each of you will be warmth to the other.

Now you are two bodies,
But there is only one life before you.

Go now to your dwelling place
To enter into the days of your togetherness.

May your days be good and long upon the earth.

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Poem by Robert Sexton

Sometimes your nearness takes my breath away; And all things I want to say can find no voice. Then, in silence, I can only hope my eyes will speak my heart.

Saying by Jose Perez

Love is born with the joy of looking at the other, it is then fed with the act of truly seeing each other, then it culminates in the impossibility of separation.
 
Poem by Kahlil Gibran

"Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks to another day of loving.
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home eventide with gratitude, and then sleep with a prayer
For the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips." 

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On Marriage from The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran

You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of heavens dance between you.
Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.

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Sonnet 18 by Shakespeare

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate.
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date.
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimmed,
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance or nature's changing course untrimmed;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st,
Nor shall death brag thou wander'st in his shade
When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st.
---- So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
---- So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

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Sonnet 116 by Shakespeare

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove.
O no, it is an ever fixe'd mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wand'ring barque,
Whose worth's unknown although his height be taken.
Love's not time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
---- If this be error and upon me proved,
---- I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

Sand and Shells Blessing by Judith Todd-McNichol

May the sand and shell’s and the ocean’s tide
bring many a blessings to this Cape Cod Bride.

May the salt grasses and the gull’s calling tune
bring many a blessing to this Cape Cod Groom.

May love enfold you like Cape Cod’s Harbors,
and kisses be as plentiful as Cape Cod’s Sands.

May your love go on forever
blessed by these Cape Cod Lands.

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Love Is by Susan Polis Schutz

Love is
being happy for the other person when they are happy
being sad for the other person when they are sad
being together in good times and being together in bad times
Love is the source of strength

Love is
being honest with yourself at all times
being honest with the other person at all times
telling, listening, respecting the truth and never pretending
Love is the source of reality

Love is
an understanding that is so complete that
you feel as if you are a part of the other person
accepting the other person just the way they are
and not trying to change them to be something else
Love is the source of unity

Love is
the freedom to pursue your own desires
while sharing your experience with the other person
the growth of one individual along side of
and together with the growth of another individual
Love is the source of success

Love is
the excitement of planning things together
the excitement of doing things together
Love is the source of the future

Love is
the fury of the storm
the calm of the rainbow
Love is the source of passion

Love is
giving and taking in a daily situation
being patient with each other's needs and desires
Love is the source of sharing

Love is
knowing that the other person will always be with you regardless of what happens
missing the other person when they are away but remaining near in heart at all times
Love is the source of security

Love is
The source of life.

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Dove Poem

Two doves meeting in the sky
Two loves hand in hand eye to eye
Two parts of a loving whole
Two hearts and a single soul

Two stars shining big and bright
Two fires bringing warmth and light
Two songs played in perfect tune
Two flowers growing into bloom

Two Doves gliding in the air
Two loves free without a care
Two parts of a loving whole
Two hearts and a single soul

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Wedding Ceremonies

Hands of the Bride and Groom Ceremony

Name, please face Name, and hold Name’s hands, palms up, so you may see the gift that they are to you.”

"These are the hands of your best friend, vibrant with love, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as he/ she promises to love you all the days of his /her life”.

”These are the hands that will work along side yours, as together you build your future, as you laugh and cry, as you share your innermost secrets and dreams”.

”These are the hands that look so large and strong, yet will be so gentle.”
”These are the hands that will work long hours for you as a new family.”

”These are that hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, for a lifetime of happiness”.

”These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes: tears of sorrow and tears of joy.”

”These are the hands that will comfort you in illness, and hold you when fear or grief wrack your mind.”

”These are the hands that will tenderly lift your chin and brush your cheek as they raise your face to look into his eyes: eyes that are filled completely with his overwhelming love and desire for you.”

Name, please hold Name’s hands, palms up, where you may see the gift that they are to you. These are the hands of your best friend, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as Name pledges her/his love and commitment to you all the days of her/his life.”

”These are the hands that will hold you in tender love, soothing you through
illness and hurt, supporting and encouraging you along the way, and knowing when it is time to let go.”

”These are the hands that will hold you tight as you struggle through difficult times.”

”These are the hands that will comfort you when you are sick, or console you when you are grieving.”

”They are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, for a lifetime of happiness.”

”These are the hands that will hold you in joy and excitement and hope, each time Name tells you about dreams for you future.
”These are the hands that will give you support as Name encourages you to chase down your dreams. Together as a team, everything you wish for can be realized.”

I will then read the following:

”May these hands always be held by one another. Give them the strength to hold on during the storms of stress and the dark of disappointment. Keep them tender and gentle as they nurture each other in their wondrous love. Help these hands to continue building a relationship founded in your
grace, rich in caring, and devoted in reaching for your perfection. May you both see your four hands as healer, protector, shelter and guide.

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I do this just before the ring ceremony.

Jumping of the Broom Ceremony this gets friends involved
The most widely known Irish and African-American wedding tradition is “jumping of the broom”. This takes place at the end of the ceremony when the couple is departing. What is “Jumping of the Broom”? During the time of slavery in the United States. Slaves, not having rights as citizens, were denied the legal or religious rite of marriage. It is a ceremony in which the bride and groom signify their entrance into a new life and their creation of a new family by symbolically “sweeping away” their former single lives, former problems and concerns, and stepping over the broom to enter upon a new adventure as husband and wife. The straw end represents the brushing away of all their old cares and worries. The strong wooden handle represents the strength of your commitment to each other, and the straight, unconditionally committed path you will follow together in marriage. Some say that whoever jumps the highest will be the boss of the house! Friends and family members of the bride and groom sometimes decorate the broom for them. Great fun for crafters.

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Knot Ceremony this gets Mom’s involved

In the knot ceremony, the mothers of the bridal couple are given a cord, which the officiant later asks them to give to the bridal couple. The couple ties a lover's knot, which they may save to look back on later

Positions during ceremony facing each other toward your guests during the ceremony: Facing each other is very important as the vows you say are meant for each other. I like you to face each other in front of me so your guests can see you both as you take your vows. This also works well for photos. For small groups we can all stand in a circle around you. There are many options we can discuss. 

Releasing of Doves/ these are white homing pigeons.

The Flight of the Birds signify a new beginning!! A White Dove Release is one of the most exquisite additions to your wedding ~ It is by far the most spectacular of all, and certain to please your guests! Snow White Doves being released into the sky above will certainly make your wedding a glorious occasion! The "newly-united" couple emerge from the church to receive the well-wishes and blessings of their family and friends. They may opt for an appropriate poem of love to enhance the release and make the moment even more touching. One sample of a poem is on the wedding reading page link:

You can find several companies on the Internet who provide information on releasing Doves/ pigeons. #They are homing pigeons that return to their home base upon release.

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Releasing of Butterflies Ceremony

According to an American Indian Legend, if anyone desires a wish to come true they must first capture a butterfly and whisper that wish to it. Since a butterfly can make no sound, the butterfly can not reveal the wish to anyone but the Great Spirit who hears and sees all. In gratitude for giving the beautiful butterfly its freedom, the Great Spirit always grants the wish. So, according to legend, by making a wish and giving the butterfly its freedom, the wish will be taken to the heavens and be granted.

A butterfly release is a unique experience. After you have spoken your vows, hand your bride or groom a beautiful little box with butterflies in it. They will be truly thrilled! Butterflies are symbols of the spirit of freedom and happiness. Your guest will surely appreciate this unusual opportunity to participate in the creation of your own Cape Cod beginning! It looks great on videos and photos. “on the wings of a butterfly”? It will hold a special meaning for all to watch as your butterflies are released like your wishes to soar into the heavens with good fortune. Imagine designated wedding guests releasing butterflies as you emerge together from your ceremony. You will depart under a veil of fluttering beauties which will remain for just the right amount of time before they gently fly away!
Some butterflies linger for several minutes before departing. You and your guests will never forget the magical appearance of these beautiful creatures.

Butterflies for sale can be found on the internet. However, they can be quite expensive. There are many farms that raise butterflies solely for this purpose. Most couples select the Monarch Butterfly, however there are several types of Butterflies to choose from. You can actually raise your own.

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Rose Ceremony

In the Rose Ceremony, the Bride and Groom give each other a Rose. Two roses are all that is necessary. The Rose Ceremony is placed at the end of the ceremony just before being pronounced husband and wife. In the international language of flowers, a single red rose has always meant "I love you".

Then I will say:

"Your gift to each other for your wedding today has been your wedding rings - which shall always be an outward and public expression of your vows love and your commitment to each other.”

“ For your first gift as a married couple,that gift will be a single rose.”

“In the past, the rose was considered a symbol of love and a single rose always meant only one thing - it meant the words "I love you." So it is appropriate that for your first gift ,that gift would be a single rose.”

“Please exchange your first gift. In some ways it seems like you
have not done anything at all. Just a moment ago you were holding one small rose - and now you are holding one small rose. In many way marriage is much like this, tomorrow is going to seem no different than yesterday. But in fact today, just now, you both have given and received one of the most valuable and precious gifts of life - one I hope you always remember - the gift of true and abiding love within the devotion of marriage.”

“Name and Name, I would ask that where ever you make your home in the future - whether it be a large and elegant home - or a small and graceful one - that you both pick one very special location for roses; so that on each anniversary of this truly wonderful occasion you both may take a rose to that spot both as a recommitment to your marriage - and a recommitment that THIS will be a marriage based upon love.”

“In every marriage there are times where it is difficult to find the right words. It is easiest to hurt who we most love. It is easiest to be most hurt by who we most love. It might be difficult some time to words to say
"I am sorry" or "I forgive you"; "I need you" or "I am hurting". If this should happen, if you simply can not find these words, leave a rose at that spot which both of you have selected - for that rose than says what matters most of all and should overpower all other things and all other words.”

“That rose says the words: "I still love you." The other should accept this rose for the words which can not be found, and remember the love and hope that you both share today”.

“Name and Name, if there is anything you remember of this marriage ceremony, it is that it was love that brought you here today, it is only love which can make it a glorious union, and it is by love which your marriage shall endure."

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Sand Ceremony this is great for a beach ceremony

If for whatever reason you choose not to use a Unity Candle during your ceremony, the sand ceremony can be a beautiful and meaningful addition to your vows. Simply find three containers, one for the bride and groom to pour the sand into, two for each of you to pour the sand from. You can find colored or plain sand at most craft stores. After I read the text below (or any text you choose), pour the two containers of sand into the
third container simultaneously. You may wish to leave a small amount of sand in each container to symbolize that although you are now joined as one, you each remain individuals.

Then I will read:

“You have just sealed your relationship by the giving and receiving of rings , and this pledge is a relationship promise between two people who agree that they will commit themselves to one another throughout their lives. The most beautiful example of this partnership is the marriage relationship. You have committed here today to share the rest of your lives with each other. Today, this relationship is symbolized through the pouring of these two individual containers of sand one, representing you, name and all that you were, all that you are, and all that you will ever be, and the other representing you, name, and all that you were and all that you are, and all that you will ever be. As these two containers of sand are poured into the third container, the individual containers of sand will no longer exist, but will be joined together as one. Just as these grains of sand can never be separated and poured again into the individual containers, so will your marriage be.”

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Stone Ceremony

One newly-combined family with children (plus parents, of course) chose bud vases holding seven different colors of stones. At the same moment, everyone poured his or her vase of stones into a large vase chosen by the parents. Each family member's color joins everyone else's color, and yet each keeps its individuality as well! I then used my hand to mix all the colors together, and to place a stick of curly bamboo (symbol of joy and long life) into the rainbow of stones.

Sword Ceremony this is great for fathers

T
he couple jumps over crossed swords (held by the fathers). This symbolizes the cutting of ties to their parents and it is perfect for Dad’s to do this. Now a days fathers so often cut the umbilical cord at birth, now they are symbolically helping their children cutting their ties to their families, to form a new one. This is just ceremonial swords you can get on the internet. They are held blade down and crossed for the couple to jump over, so it is safe.

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Unity Candle Ceremony

A Unity Candle Ceremony can be included in your ceremony. It is usually followed after the Exchange of Rings. Usually the mothers light the tapers before taking their seats, however you can have children or other family members take part by lighting the tapers. A Unity Candle set consists of two tapers and a candle in the middle. The two tapers represent your individual families and your individual lives before today. The bride takes a single taper and the groom takes a single taper and lights the center candle, then extinguish their individual candles. This represents the closing of the chapters
in their past life (Known as the “Book of Life”.) and the beginning of new chapters as you begin to write a new book as husband and wife! In another version, the tapers are left burning, representing that even though you have started a new life, each of you still maintains those characteristics that makes you individually unique.

If you are creating a new family and you do include children in the lighting of the Unity Candle, the bride and groom can light the tapers for the children and then everyone can light the center candle together. This is a good way to involve children from a previous marriage.

There are so many ways the lighting of a Unity Candle can work. Below is just a sample. The officiant will announce:
“At this time, Name and Name are going to light their Unity Candle as a symbol of their marriage. These candles from which they light, represent their lives from this moment on. Name and Name will light the center candle to symbolize the union of their lives. As this one light burns undivided, so shall their love be one.”

“Name will light her candle first, which represents “Love”. Name will now light his candle, which represents “Health and Happiness”. The lights that Name and Name have lit are distinct each burning alone.”

“Name and Name, from now on, your thoughts shall be for each other, rather than for your individual selves. Your joys and sorrows shall be shared alike. May the radiance of this light be a testimony of your unity. May these candles burn brightly as symbols of your commitment to each other, and as a tribute to your parents love.”

Water front services rippling blessing stones

When a wedding is outside and near water, blessing stones are either gathered at the site or provided by the couple not only for themselves but for the wedding party and guests as well. After the ceremony all follow the bride and groom's recessional to the water, make a wish or blessing for them and cast their stone into the water. The ripples that are made represent the love and good wishes for not only the couple, but for all the world... as our ripples cross and re-cross one another's, so do our love and good wishes touch and retouch all around us and those with whom we come into contact.

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Wine Ceremonies
The years of life are as a cup of wine poured out for you to drink. This “Cup of Life” contains within it a wine with certain properties that are sweet and symbolic of happiness, joy, hope, peace, love and delight. This same wine also holds some bitter properties that are symbolic of disappointment, sorrow, grief, despair, and life’s trials and tribulations.
Together the sweet and the bitter represent “Life’s Journey” and all of the experiences that are a natural part of it. Those who drink deeply from the “Cup of Life” with an open heart and willing spirit, invite the full range of challenges and experiences into their being.

I will pour the wine into goblet and hold it up and say:

”This “Cup of Life” is symbolic of the pledges you have made to one another to share together the fullness of life. As you drink from this cup, you acknowledge to one another that your lives, until this moment separate, have become one.
(I hand the glass to groom, who drinks, then hands it to bride, who drinks, who passes it back to me.)”

“As you have shared the wine from these goblets, so may you share your lives. May you find life’s joys heightened, its bitterness sweetened, and all of life enriched by blessings upon you.”

A nice touch is to have the bride pour white wine while the groom pours red. You can then serve rosé at the reception to remind everyone of the ceremony

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Breaking of the Glass Ceremony

The traditional Jewish wedding ceremony includes a “breaking of the glass.” This tradition represents the destruction of he temple in Jerusalem. Many times couples save the pieces of glass from the ceremony in a symbolic box. The Groom is offered a glass on a wooden pallet or wrapped in a cloth napkin, smashes it with his foot. The breaking of the glass symbolizes the fragility of life, because whatever we see before us as whole can be broken
at any moment. It reminds us of the need to care for one another; for just as glass can be shattered easily, so can the marriage bond can be shattered with a single act of infidelity or repeated acts of emotional irresponsibility

Seal Box
The sealed anniversary box includes a bottle of wine or champagne served at your wedding celebration and your toasting goblets and two love letters each one written privately and sealed unread, to be open on a future anniversary.
I then will explain that should the couple ever find their marriage in serious trouble, before making any irrational decisions, they must open the box, drink wine together, and read the letter that they wrote to one another to reflect on why they fell in love with each other in the first place. The hope is that there will never be a reason to have to open the box, unless of course, it is for a 25 year anniversary.

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Hands of the Bride and Groom Ceremony

The I will say:

“Name, please face Name, and hold Name’s hands, palms up, so you may see the gift that they are to you.”

"These are the hands of your best friend, vibrant with love, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as he/ she promises to love you all the days of his /her life”.

”These are the hands that will work along side yours, as together you build your future, as you laugh and cry, as you share your innermost secrets and dreams”.

”These are the hands that look so large and strong, yet will be so gentle.”
”These are the hands that will work long hours for you as a new family.”

”These are that hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, for a lifetime of happiness”.

”These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes: tears of sorrow and tears of joy.”

”These are the hands that will comfort you in illness, and hold you when fear or grief wrack your mind.”

”These are the hands that will tenderly lift your chin and brush your cheek as they raise your face to look into his eyes: eyes that are filled completely with his overwhelming love and desire for you.”

”Name, please hold Name’s hands, palms up, where you may see the gift that they are to
you. These are the hands of your best friend, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as Name pledges her love and commitment to you all the days of her life.”

”These are the hands that will hold you in tender love, soothing you through
illness and hurt, supporting and encouraging you along the way, and knowing when it is time to let go.”

”These are the hands that will hold you tight as you struggle through difficult times.”

”These are the hands that will comfort you when you are sick, or console you when you are grieving.”

”They are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, for a lifetime of happiness.”

”These are the hands that will hold you in joy and excitement and hope, each time Name tells you about dreams for you future.
”These are the hands that will give you support as Name encourages you to chase down your dreams. Together as a team, everything you wish for can be realized.”

I will then read the following:

”May these hands always be held by one another. Give them the strength to hold on during the storms of stress and the dark of disappointment. Keep them tender and gentle as they nurture each other in their wondrous love. Help these hands to continue building a relationship founded in your
grace, rich in caring, and devoted in reaching for your perfection. May you both see your four hands as healer, protector, shelter and guide.

I do this just before the ring ceremony.

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I look forward to hearing from you.

Judith Todd McNichol Congratulations

Judith Todd-McNichol
508-896-9898

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